As a young girl, I felt like I was doing everything “wrong”…I was too big, too small, too loud, too quiet, too aggressive, not assertive enough and I felt the need to constantly apologize for it.
A lot of the cultural messaging I received growing up was about making sure that everyone around me was comfortable and had positive opinions of me – which is kind of a losing battle as a young woman who was fiercely independent with plenty of big ideas and dreams to make happen.
I felt like I was always breaking even – a big, bold step forward, and then I’d hear that little voice in my head that told me I should promptly take a step back.
It wasn’t really until my late 30s that I finally felt like – screw it, I’m done apologizing – and it’s no surprise to me now that THAT was the time when my business finally began to see tremendous growth.
If you are someone who struggles with opposing feelings of wanting to take big action AND being afraid that everyone will have something to say about it, then today’s episode is for you.
I’m sharing 5 things I quit apologizing for in my online course business, which allowed me to step into a version of myself that I desperately needed to hear from all those years ago.
My name is Caitlin Bacher, CEO of Scale With Success®, and I’m on a mission to help course creators all over the world grow their business in a way that is profitable and scalable. I’m sharing revealing insights about what it really takes to scale an online course business to millions of dollars per year. Join me here to discover the tough decisions I’ve had to make, the biggest failures I’ve had to bounce back from, and the learnings that emerged every step of the way. I’m so grateful that I have the chance to tell you everything right here on Scale With Success®: The Podcast. Let’s get started.
Here are five things I quit apologizing for in my online course business and I think every course creator should do the same.
#1: Selling
Selling allows you to serve others, so if you stop selling – guess what else you stop doing?
Anyone and I mean anyone who leaves a comment on your social media post or sends you an email explaining to you all the reasons why you are being “too sales-y” by passionately talking about your products or services says WAY MORE about them than it does about you.
Don’t let their hangups around what a woman should or shouldn’t do determine your success.
If you run a for-profit business, selling coaching or courses, you are going to get emails and comments telling you that promoting your products and services is wrong – and it’s important that you do not take it personally.
…because as your business grows, you won’t get less of those comments – you’ll get more. And if you start to let all that chatter get to you – you’ll start to sell less – and your business will suffer – and so will everyone out there who NEEDS the program that you’re selling.
I’ve had the pleasure of working with incredible women who have encouraged me to to move forward, even when the path ahead looks uncertain. I NEVER would’ve had the opportunity to work with them if they weren’t courageous enough to step out and promote their programs day after day – even when others make ignorant comments about it.
You created this business to help people and the vast majority of people in your community WANT to hear about what you’re offering. It’s doing them and everyone else you have the potential to serve a DIService by holding back.
It’s ok to be excited about what you sell and if someone is bothered by that then they can simply unfollow or unsubscribe. They will be ok and you will be ok.
#2: Being Yourself
Last year I started getting DMs from many women in their 30s and 40s who wanted to know if they could grow their course business WITHOUT showing their face – and it made me feel sad. They said they felt insecure about the way they looked and that they weren’t “good enough” to put their face on the internet.
Good enough for whom? For some random stranger who will make negative comments no matter what you look like?
Taking up space in the business world as a woman (even when some random trolls online will tell you to go back to the kitchen) is a revolutionary act – one that we haven’t had access to for very long. We weren’t even allowed to start our own business unless we had a male relative to co-sign contracts with us before 1988.
You deserve to have dreams and work towards achieving them – just as much as anyone else.
You get up every morning and put YOUR face and YOUR ideas onto the internet – in front of everyone to see. You make offers. You deliver content that inspires, teaches, and entertains. You put your heart and soul into everything you do and that takes conviction and courage.
Aside from sharing your ideas, even showing your FACE online can have a big impact. Part of my face is paralyzed and has been ever since I was born. It has no effect on my ability to get anything done and 99% of the time I don’t think twice about it.
But, I get messages and emails from other women who say they also have facial paralysis and go to great lengths to NOT advertise their business with video marketing because they are deeply ashamed of the way they look. They say seeing me show up as myself gives them the courage to do the same.
Your greatest insecurity can be someone else’s biggest inspiration.
#3: Making Money
My husband has a photo of me holding a $200 check that I got from my very first client years ago and it is one of his favorite pictures. That $200 that someone mailed to me from many states away (because I hadn’t figured out how to send an electronic invoice) was a pivotal moment in my life.
In that photo I look proud – and a little scared – because I had no idea what was to come.
I have spoken with many women in the online course industry who feel embarrassed about their success AND their failures – and there is a time when I felt the same.
Many of us were taught at a young age that making mistakes or failing in front of others was something to be deeply ashamed of and was to be avoided at all costs.
Every mistake I made in the early years of my business made me question whether or not I even had the right to have a business. I thought every unexpected challenge or setback meant that I was foolish and unprepared as opposed to courageous and resilient.
But, let me tell you, EVERY successful person has unexpected challenges and setbacks. If you are avoiding mistakes you are avoiding growth and THAT is a hard pill to swallow for many of us who were taught otherwise.
A person with a $100k/year business makes 10x the mistakes of someone who has a $10k/year business. A person with a million dollar per year business makes 100x the mistakes of someone who has a $100k/year business.
But, you’re only given the opportunity to make mistakes by moving forward – not by being stuck waiting for a perfect moment in time to take action.
As a business owner, you won’t always have the luxury of confidence – but you WILL always have the opportunity to lean on your courage.
#4: Working Too Much/Too Little
Working as much or as little as possible has become somewhat of an obsession for many course creators. Sometimes it feels like a weird competition about who can out-hustle or out-relax everyone else.
The good news is that you can absolutely refuse to participate in that competition and just do what you want. You’re not “doing it wrong” just because you worked more or less this month than you did last month.
There is no right or wrong way to plan your week, only a right for YOU way – and that may change for you from time to time based on the needs of your business and the needs of your family.
Maybe you’re in a season of rapid growth and that might mean telling your community that you need their help pitching in more – which I’m sure you have done for them plenty of times before to make THEIR dreams happen. Asking for and receiving help isn’t something that always feels easy – especially if we’ve spent our lives playing a supporting role, but never the main character.
Maybe you’re in a season of slower growth and that’s ok, too.
Don’t waste time listening to others who try to make you feel guilty about working too much or too little, that’s your choice – and I don’t know about you, but nobody knows ME better than me…and someone else’s opinions of what I’m doing or not doing are none of my business.
One thing I will say is to be good to yourself and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy the slowness of an afternoon spent with your loved ones just as much as you enjoy spending an afternoon brainstorming your next big offer.
#5: Investing in Your Business
The first time I began enrolling in programs so I could learn the skills I needed to grow my business felt thrilling AND uncertain. I was scared that deep down, maybe I didn’t have what it took to learn something new. But, I was MORE scared of doing nothing and being in the exact same place the following year.
I needed help and I was willing to accept it.
However, I also experienced some shame around it. I remember thinking, “Who am I to make an investment like this?” or “Wow, it’s so careless to spend money like that.” or “Maybe I should wait until I make progress on my own BEFORE investing.”
I remember later on telling my mom about how embarrassed I felt to be investing that kind of money in myself – my mom was always frugal and I thought for sure that was something she’d be against. But, to my surprise when I told her she said, “Caitlin, that’s just what you need to do right now. You’ve never done this before and you need people who have done it and can help show you what to do.”
I was completely shocked. That was not the answer I was expecting at all. I never told her I was shocked, so Mom if you’re listening to this podcast – now you know!
If you’ve ever felt ashamed or embarrassed about selling, being yourself, making money, working too much/too little, or investing in your business…you’re not alone. I’ve been there and so have hundreds of thousands of course creators just like you.
It takes courage, not confidence, to invest in your business. And as your business grows, so will the size of your investments – so, if you’re doing it right, there will always be some risk involved.
To recap, here are five things I quit apologizing for in my course business:
1) Selling
2) Being myself
3) Making money
4) Working too much or too little
5) Investing in my business
Today I invite you to set aside the opinions of others so that TOGETHER we can step up and create the impact we were born to make with our businesses.
I appreciate you listening and I’ll see you next time on Scale With Success® The Podcast.
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